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yes. that is why it has been a case of long time no blog.

So I was in Thailand for 3 weeks, it was of course a work thing. I wrote a post about the first week but other stuff happened of course. Very exhausting stuff…

then when I returned to Australia it was with 2 colleagues from the Thai Burma border and we were in Sydney and Canberra together attending conferences, lobbying politicians, going to govt departments like AusAID and DFAT to try to get some important policy change to help people on the Thai Burma border. This was of course very exhausting stuff..

After all that, when my colleagues went back to Thailand I had more then a week at home – awesome! (you might think) surely now you can un-exhaust (I am aware that this is not a word… hahaha). But NO! it was not to be. Because remember that Husbot and I are renovating our house. So this week was spent;

  • finishing walls/skirting boards
  • painting
  • unpacking rooms filled with stuff into other rooms
  • moving furniture
  • more painting
  • building either new flat pack furniture or furniture we had taken apart to store during the renovation
  • cleaning stuff.

exhausing.

But it is all coming together. So once I am truely un-exhausted (I am MAKING that a word!) I will try to summon the energy to post some pictures. Because it is starting to look good and it really does feel like home now. 🙂

no words really…. this song pretty much says where I am at;

need to sleep better. now.

So. Right about the time when my house is in absolute chaos.

My work is so busy I could not be any more up to my eyeballs in stuff.  etc etc

My computer decides to stop working. It did not really explode. It was more of a whimper then a bang really. We actually have been having signals of it for a few weeks. So, thankfully I was able to save all of my photos, our adoption files, work stuff, personal stuff etc onto an external hard drive.

But that does mean that it is really hard to blog. Because although I am blogging now from work (to tell you why the blogs have slowed down to a stop) I really dont like to do that and cant really do that because I am so busy at the moment.

So there is about 5 weeks of building renovations I would like to catch you up on but…. they are all photos and that is too much to do when you dont have a computer!

I also have kept sewing a little bit through the renos but… again that is a lot of pictures to post and it is difficult to do that.

hhhmmm…. stay tuned. Hopfully  I will get a new computer soon (yay! one more thing to buy at a time when we have so many expenses!!) and be able to blog again and catch everybody up!

I heart Eddie Vedder. It has been really really warm and summery. I have been listening to this song a LOT!

Anyway – I think you should too! 🙂

try it with is turned up loud and have a dance around.

or

maybe just put it on your ipod and have a nice quite meditative sit with this song

or

turn it up and let out a big barbaric yawp (see Dead Poets Society)!

Why not 🙂 you know I will!!

the song Hard Sun is from the movie Into the Wild which is a beautiful beautiful movie

In fact there is no question about it.

On Monday night I went with a friend to a babies home for abandoned Burmese babies. There I met little Min Min – what a beautiful boy.

He was there with 5 other baby boys and 2 baby girls all aged between about 3 months and 13 months. One of the girls has major health issues and the other girl has health issues to overcome. But all of the boys  are healthy lively bouncing baby boys… without a family to love them.

They are recieving great care from compasio and thanks to the efforts of the Mae Tao Clinic where they were born they have their births registered (but it does not make them a Thai citizen).

However things have improved a bit since I last wrote about orphanages for Burmese children in Thailand here because now there is a social worker who works with this one infants home to try to find forever homes for these children with Thai and Burmese families.

So I can be glad that Min Min may be able to find a forever home somewhere – even though I wish with all my heart that it was with me…

I was sitting on the floor and he was crawling (because he is 5 months old) the other boys were super excited about a new ball but he was getting a bit run over by Suu Suu in her wheelie baby walker thing, so he crawled over my way and I rescued him from the wheelie baby walker’s path into my lap. 🙂 and we had a lovely couple of cuddles.

here is the blog of a volunteer who works with the kids if you want to read more: http://owenandfraninthailand.wordpress.com/

for now, for me. I am nursing my broken heart because I even though I am approved to adopt and my file is in Thailand and somewhere on that file it says I am ‘fit to be a parent’ and this baby boy needs a loving caring forever home. It is not possible for life to be that simple. 😦

Yes! In a heartbeat.

I love being here in Thailand, even though I am working and not doing all the fun stuff! And the question, would I move here is asked to me a lot by my colleagues.

I would and I predict I will one day. I am just not sure that now is the right time.

Of course I could move here quite easily and work, my work is here already s I don’t think that would be a problem at all. Husbot would also be qualified to work for many of the NGOs and CBOs over here. We both love it here and we are both looking forward to living in Asia together one day…

So why not now? Hhhmm It is just not the right time at the moment. It has not been the right time for a little while.

We want to get our house sorted out and there is no way we could do that long distance.

Husbot is actually still kind of settling into his role at work and his career and he needs a bit of time to get that established.

I love my work and what I do. When that phone rings *fingers crossed it is soon* and I take time off from work to be with Bubs I am grateful that there will be so much to do at home and I will be so busy or else it might be hard to keep my nose out of work!

Plus we can’t leave our darling girl Indai *sniffle*

But it is definitely something we think about a lot. We don’t think about it in terms of our adoption though. I really don’t think it would change things or make it any easier (would it make it harder???). I know a person who adopted as an expat while living in Thailand and her wait was over 2 years. I don’t think there is a way to make it go faster and we just have to wait it out.

But Husbot and I definitely think it would be great to live in Thailand when the children are still young (am I getting ahead of myself here or WHAT!). When they are in primary school but before high school is probably the right time.

But who knows… maybe something will change overnight and we will pack up and leave right away. You never can tell what is just around the corner – can you?

So. I bought a pram the other night.

I have been thinking about it. See in Australia here prams seem to be more expensive then they should be. And since I am a research nerd I decided that I will just buy one good pram and that will be it.

So I have been on forums etc looking at what pram is best. I wanted one that was user friendy, not too bulky, good for one child or two. and so about a year ago (it seems) had pretty much decided on the Baby Jogger City Select. But it was pretty $$$ Then I found out people in Australia sometimes bought them from the US – where they were nearly 1/2 the price. And at the moment the Australian dollar is more then the US dollar… it was all too much!! I HAD to have it!!!! 🙂

so I did. It should get here in about a months time. a BJCS with a second seat (so it can convert to a two seater if we need it one day and then back again if we dont). Meanwhile we may not be parents for…… well, who knows how long. I would rather not think about it 😦

What else have we bought?

well of course we have an ergo! After reading on Kyle and Robin’s blog http://critterquest.wordpress.com/ how much they LOVE their  ergo I ran out and bought one sometime last year. Indai has had a turn or two in it. Indai DID NOT LIKE! 😦  – I wont post a pic! hahahaha But I was reassured of my purchase when Gem and family loved theirs earlier this year – yay!

Other then that we have a small but growing stack of cloth nappies, about 19. But they are hard to buy without knowing the age and weight of your child so I am trying not to get too carried away there.

oh and we have a high chair already too.

Oh and the toys that I have made. And some I have bought in Thailand.

And some beautiful cot sized quilts that I saw in a market in Luang Prabang (Laos) that were just too lovely NOT to buy.

hhhhmmmm. This post was going to be about how buying things for the baby was so unusual for me…. but I guess that is just a big lie! ha! Well the nursery is not ready yet. That needs to wait until the renovation is done. But otherwise I guess we are almost ready! Hear that universe! we are readu to go!

So yesterday Husbot and I started a new diet not a new ‘diet’  what is the difference?

I dont know but I am thinking of it more like this. Our new diet is more of the dictionary definition: ‘what a person or animal usually eats and drinks; daily fare”  rather then the other definition ‘a special or limited selection of food and drink, chosen or prescribed to promote health or a gain or loss of weight’.

In other words this is more of a lifestyle thing.

Yes I probably need to lose about 20kg. I would love to lose that weight (or even 10 or 156 kg would be nice) but what I am starting is a change in philosophy or approach to food. Which I am hoping will last for a long time – not just for a short period to lose a few kilos.

See I have been a vegetarian for more then 20 years now, starting when I was 13. For most of that time I have been pretty healthy, but not an ideal vego. Not very aware about nutrition, micronutients etc. The kind of vego who had to force myself to eat tofu etc. I think it started from not wanting my vegetarianism to be a big fuss.

I never tried to make the people around me feel guilty about their food choices (my parents etc are not vego) and did not want Mum to be too burdened when making dinner so did not want her to have to make some massive ‘special’ meal of overnight soaked lentils etc so I just eliminated meat. Leter I became a little bit more aware but also vegetarianism was growing in ‘normalcy’ and so there were more grocery products available to make life easier for me.

But this ment that like a lot of vegos I did not get enough protein in my diet (according to this new diet philosophy) because many of my protein options are also high fat (the cheese and other dairy options) well Rose Elliot says dont worry about low fat/high fat – just get the protein in and cut out the carbs and sugars! So! This is a diet that is about lots of eggs, yoghurts, cheese, tofu etc as well as vegetables, nuts and oils. Low carbs. It really sounds appealing to me. Will I lose the 10-20kg? maybe, I hope so. But more then that I hope I feel more satified with food and like it is doing something for me (you know…).

The thinnest I have been (as an adult) was after living in the Philippines for a year – but it is questionable if this is also when I was at my healthiest! Yes I excercised a lot. Having warm days every day, early rising sun and a steady setting sun made it easy to do early morning yoga 3 times a week or swim around 1 km after work a couple of times a week, and long walks left made me sweat the equivilent of a 30 min jog here in Australia). But I was also in a country where vegetarianism was completly UNKNOWN. I would ask if there was anything with vegetables at a restaurant and be told ‘yes’ and then it would come with bits of pork in it. “whats that?” I would say “Pork!” they would say. ‘But you said it was vegetables?’ ….. “Yes, vegetables.” and walk away bemused. I think there was nothing in that country that did not have pork in it. except mangoes…. mmmmm mangoes. So I was STARVING. Of course I had a home and would cook there. But a lot of the time it was difficult. So It was not a healthy slimness.

But yeah, the weight started coming on the closer I got to 30. I did not change my diet, was still eating what I ate when I was 13, 18, 25 etc but it was effecting me differently. So now I need to make an adjustment before it all gets too hard. Fingers crossed this lifestyle change has a positive effect 🙂

I am not sure why I am blogging about it… accountability? tracking? not really. I doubt I will update regularly about it. But if there are vegos out there who have found that they are feeling blah and want to try something that sounds easy to follow (mmm…. lots of cheese) and like it might sort out some niggling issues with weight etc then maybe this is the answer. At some point I will let you know – maybe christmas.

This year I was really touched by the artistry in this videoclip – it is just so beautiful. I love the song too… Firekites ‘Autum Story’ …

I will be so thrilled if my children are artistic or musical. I really love music and art, but I am not one who was blessed with the skills!

Other then this song here are some others that I loved this year:

Modest Mouse released this song on the album We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank in 2007, But this year I think it must have been the most played on my ipod – such a great song;

I also listened to Lisa Mitchel’s  Love Letter a LOT. Again it was not released this year – but it was significant for me…

Can you tell I spent a lot of time traveling this year and missing my family? : )

anyway they are beautiful songs and were really significant for me.

Also everything that Florence and the Machine put out – some days I had to listen to Florence just to be happy enough to get out of bed! hahahahaha : )

Not a favorite band of mine or anything – but I thought this was a great film clip – love the kids in it. They give it so much heart! (Temper Trap, Love Lost)

– love when the girls come in – makes me laugh!

Anyway these are my songs of the year – enjoy!

So I have had blog block.

It is not that I have not had things to write in the past couple of weeks. It is just that I still have not written up some things I would like to have from my time in Cambodia (last month) and have wanted to do that. But I had a houseguest when I got back and then the day I got back to work some things changed and I have been unusually busy.

Still I have been holding off posting about other things because I want to write this up!?! It is not that I have not had things to post I have just been feeling like I should get this Cambodia one down first… anyway now I will go ahead with other posts and if later I get to the Cambodia one then I will just post it, even though it will be very late.

So here come some posts….