So my plan is to catch up on some slack blogging with some ‘year in review blogs’ …. I hope it works.

Anyway I wanted to write more about being in Thailand when I was in Thailand but work was too busy and internet conections were too slow to allow. So I am doing it in reflection.

Do I think more about my future family while in Thailand? no, it is impossible for me to think about it more – because I think about it ALL THE TIME! hahahaha but I guess I do very deliberatly try to use the time to ensure that there is a genuine connection between Thailand and me. It helps that Husbot was able to come for a little bit this time.

For example I spent my 3rd Loi Kratong in Thailand this year and it was great. I have celebrated Loi Kratong in different Thai towns now so I think this has given me a great experience where I am able to understand that not every place celebrates the same way – there are subtle differences. But if I was to just read about Loi Kratong in a book ‘Thai Culture for Adoptive parents Looking to Connect with their Child’ etc then I guess I would not know that…. maybe.

Husbot launching his Loi Kratong 'khom loi' or hot air balloon tofloat our hopes away...

But on the otherhand do I look at Thai kids in the street and see their faces and then imagine I am seeing the face of my future child…. well no, not really. The kids you see are so well loved often to the point of being ‘spoilt’ (or so it seems) and it is just impossible for me to imagine that little face as one who may end up in an orphanage – I would feel like I am wishing ill over them. So I dont even go there in my mind… (maybe that sounds crazy…)

Also I am working while I am in Thailand – this last trip is the first one that I have had some holiday time! So I am mostly with Burmese people and the organisations they run for the migrant worker and refugee community. I have a strange time in Thailand…. yes I am in Thailand but I spend most of my time with Burmese people!

But yes I DO feel a connection – and I do build that connection too. Like this time Husbot and I took Thai cooking lessons and made yummy Thai food – I learned Pad Thai Jay, Pad See-Ew Jay and Mango with sticky rice (desert) Husbot learned green curry Jay, fish cakes (no good for me), and Chicken and cashew Nut (no good for me)…. so far since we have returned we have made the Pad Thai Jay and the Green Curry Jay – they were both yum!! We are also trying to learn Thai language but are not progressing far – we think we need a tutor here in Australia.

me cooking .... yes it DID happen!see, I will do anything for my future children!

I dont know what I am trying to say – nothing profound! I am lucky that I get to travel to Thailand often as it affords me the chance to make this connection with Thailand genuine, I have been traveling there for years and I will continue too. And for the sake of our future children and ourselves I think this is very important. But just going there does not make the connection happen – I dont know that you can say you know Thailand (or anywhere) just because you have been there a lot, we still need to break down the language barrier etc to make sure it is not just tokenism. We feel committed to this process…. it should be an enjoyable one!

at Wat Umong

I love temple doggies : )